You don’t know until you know.  One of my favorite bible verses is Psalm 37:4, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  The scripture means the Lord places desires within us to guide us through the life He has planned for us.  What is my desire?  To adopt a child.  I always thought I would be like Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd (yes, Grey’s Anatomy & Private Practice) and adopt when I’m 40.  The Lord has other plans.  The desires of my heart are to adopt a little girl from China.  God revealed this to me through another family’s journey.  This family adopted a beautiful little girl from China a little more than a year ago.  After several visits with this child and her family, it happened.  God spoke to me.  I don’t know how to explain it other than in one small moment, I knew.  I would have a daughter, and she would be born an orphan in China.  There are two feelings: absolute joy and absolute sadness.  Joy because this girl will be my daughter.  Sadness because of the life she will have prior to the adoption.  Both of which bring tears to my eyes.  This is the beginning of the adoption journey.